Points of Déjà Vu
I've debated with myself over whether to actually write about and share this recent experience of mine, or not. For you see, it's most definitely going to make me seem completely batshit insane, and no one is going to actually believe what happened, or at least, how it happened the way it did.
But, fuck it, this is what happened to me, and I enjoy sharing my life experiences with any who'll listen lol
Whether you believe this post or not, is entirely your choice, it's no skin off my back one way or the other. You can call me crazy, call me a prophet, call me a stupid overthinking cunt, call me whatever you want! lol but I'm going to go ahead and just jump right in to writing and sharing my experience with you. Enjoy :)
It started with a dream.
A beautifully weird, bizarre dream.
I was stuck inside this weird American-style family sitcom, playing the role of this young main lesbian character. I was living with this beautiful wife in a big house in the American suburbs, and my parents (played by elderly actors who look/act/sound nothing like my real life parents) also lived with us and was constantly bothering me and my wife, interrupting our romance and interfering with our lives. Think of this sitcom like a female lesbian version of "Everybody Loves Raymond". The only thing missing was any actual funny jokes (just mean insults), and there was a distinct lack of either studio or canned laughter being played in reaction to the insults.
The episode we was acting out, involved me and my missus going to a large American shopping mall, which was housing a special goth-themed fun-house event. Inside the goth fun house, was cramped Halloween-style decorated corridors, lined with large painted marble statues of this really gorgeous sexy goth chick sexually-torturing her slave (sometimes her slave was an inferior male, other times they was a submissive female).
Each statue was posed to be acting out a form of real humiliating/degrading sub/domme kink play, with varying degrees of fetishes. Lots of leash'n'collar, whips, and nipple/cock-torture kind of BDSM.
My "parents" were following behind us, and constantly interrupting us from fully enjoying this thrilling fun-house art experience lol so me and my wife were trying to lose them in the maze-like corridors so we can be alone together to fully enjoy this whole experience together.
At one point, I remarked to my wife in an atrocious American accent, "This is giving me some great ideas! Maybe we could act some of these poses out together ;)"
I was talking, but I had no control over what I was saying. Everything was scripted, I couldn't control my accent, and every time I tried to speak my mind, the words that came out of my mouth was completely different to what I was thinking. Although, I was indeed thrilled by the kinky sights I was seeing and the ideas they were giving me :P
She was thrilled by the thought of it all as well.
Oddly enough, I didn't feel physically turned-on by my surroundings. Like, I wasn't wet. My nips weren't hard. My clit wasn't throbbing. Like, the statues were really sexually thrilling to me, but it was more of a psychological sexual pleasure for me, instead of physical pleasure. I told my wife this, and she agreed she felt the same way. We were both more sexually into it all on a mental level, rather than physical...
The sitcom suddenly flashed forward a number of "seasons". I was now middle-aged (late 30's/early 40's). Somehow, me and my wife now had a pair of young twin sons together. My "parents" were still living in the same house with us.
We was all sat on sofas in a large sitcom-family living room, around this big old bulky CRT TV set. The family had just gotten a PS1, and one of my sons was eager to play a game of "soccer" on it with me. I told him in my awful thick American accent, "OK, but I am the queen of the FIFA. Prepare to lose, son!" -- OMFG I cringed so hard when I said that x_x haha
We then started playing this really shitty, godawful, terrible, practically unplayable, ugly-as-hell footie game that was dreadful even by old PS1 standards of football sims lol
I suddenly awoke from the dream. I was laying in my bed, on my side, hugging my pillow. I was back to my normal real world, Angelica Cream self again. The midday sun outside my bedroom window was shining bright and warm through my drawn curtains. I felt very tired though, and was about to close my eyes again when I suddenly heard a voice speak to me o_o
The voice came from within me. It was inside of my body, my head, just in me...
It was an androgynous voice, like as if both a female and a male voice was combined together, with a bassy echo aftereffect to it all, and it had this weird sort of African-style cadence to it, but it sounded like no African accent I had ever heard before. Every syllable was spoken with a taut intense stress on it.
"Do not be afraid, my child,"
The voice spoke calmly to me.
My immediate thought was; oh how presumptive to think I'd be afraid of you lol like, seriously, why would I be afraid of a voice in my head? Get over yourself, new voice, just sit down and introduce yourself to all the other voices in my head, perhaps over a nice cup of tea or something lol :P
Also, just how cliche is that opening line??? lol
But yeah, the voice had a message for me, and this is the message it spoke to me in it's entirety:
"Do not be afraid, my child. I have been with you throughout your life. I have been there at your most proudest moment, and I have been there at your most lowest ebb. My light will heal you, lift you up, and guide you."
And with that, the sun outside my window started to glow around me even more brighter and warmer. It bathed me in an orangey-yellow light. Then the light literally picked me up out of my bed with no force behind it, floated me weightlessly over my bed about 7ft in the air, and effortlessly with great gentleness lowered me down onto my feet beside my bed.
So I was now standing beside my bed, the light had eased back to outside my window, and I was wondering in a state of calm "what the fuckery" lol trying to figure out just what I had experienced. I felt so tired, yet calm and accepting of it all.
I shook my head and rubbed my sleepy eyes with a yawn, as I looked to my wall clock. It was twenty minutes past 12. Despite my tiredness, I felt the need to put on my clothes (just a t-shirt and jeans) and head into the kitchen.
In the kitchen, I was met by my sweet kittycat, Mia. She was sat patiently by her empty food bowl, and she miaowed at me in a greeting, kind of like, "Ah, hooman, you're awake! :D ...Feed me, bitch! C'moooonnn, I'm starving hereeee!"
I exhaustively greeted her with a soft pet on her head, and told her to wait just a moment so I can get my bearings together. I went to the living room, and threw my phone down onto yesterday's newspaper on the couch, and then turned back to the kitchen only to have my phone suddenly ring.
It was my dad calling me.
I answered the phone, and he said,
"Hiya love, how are you? Listen, I'm doing the kitchen up today, and I need some hands to help me with carrying and holding some stuff. Are you free to come round. It'll just take a couple hours?"
I reluctantly accepted to help him, even though I was way too tired and so not wanting to spend my entire day doing that, because whenever my dad says something will only take just a "couple of hours", he really means about 8 hours of hard backbreaking stressful migraine-inducing thankless sweaty work.
Phone call ended, and feeling really shitty about the day that now lies ahead of me, I fed Mia her tin of meaty cat food, and went back up to my bedroom to try to wake up properly and mentally prepare myself for the stressful day ahead.
Everything that had just happened felt extremely like déjà vu to me. It felt like I had already lived all of this already, a thousand times over before. it was like I knew what was going to happen before it happened.
I then looked at my unmade bed trying to muster the sleepy strength to make it, when suddenly I blacked out.
I awoke in an instant in my bed, laying on my side, hugging my pillow. The midday sun shining bright and warm through my drawn curtains. It was just like it was when I woke up 10 minutes ago.
There was no androgynous voice speaking to me though. No light wrapping around me and lifting me up into the air and out of my bed. I felt a little more awake, though still just a bit sleepy.
I lifted my head up off my pillow and looked to the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes past 12 in the afternoon.
I thought for a moment on what had happened. And I felt the need to get up, put my clothes on (same t-shirt and jeans from before), and headed for the kitchen.
Mia greeted me in the kitchen with her sweet pleasant and totally demanding miaow as she sat by her food bowl. I petted her head and told her to wait just a moment. I went to the living room, threw my phone down onto yesterday's newspaper, and stared at it for a moment, waiting for it to ring. I felt like it was going to ring just like it did before.
And right on cue, it rang!
My dad was calling me.
I answered it,
"Hiya love,"
He began and told me/requested of me the exact same thing he had told me/requested of me just before, word-for-word.
This time, though, I refused to help him. He suddenly got really snippy and aggressive with me, like a petulant bratty child, like he always does whenever the world doesn't suddenly stop for him to meet his demands.
"Sorry but I got a lot on my plate right now. I need time for myself. My head-space just isn't into it today."
I told him.
He cruelly mocked me and my head-space, like the major cunt he can be at times. I explained to him the weird déjà vu that I had just experienced. He started laughing at me, calling me crazy, and then he called me an ungrateful brat for not helping him with his kitchen work >:/
He's the real brat!
I just told him to fuck off, and hung up on him. I went to the kitchen to feed Mia. I then went upstairs to my bedroom, that overwhelming sense of déjà vu hitting me real hard, though instead of looking at my unmade bed, I looked outside the window.
That midday sun was shining so bright, and began to glow brighter. It became blindingly bright, so much so that I had to close and shield my eyes from the intense brightness. I suddenly woke up.
I was laying in my bed, on my side, hugging my pillow. The midday sun shining normally again -- still bright and warm outside, but normal, through the drawn curtains of my window. I now felt extremely awake. Full of energy and life. I looked at my clock, twenty minutes past 12.
I jumped out of bed, and threw my clothes on (same t-shirt and jeans). I started to laugh at my situation like, "Oh, I know this one already! Here I go again! Watch me go! :D" haha
I went to the kitchen, Mia was sat by her bowl waiting for me. She miaowed at me, and I said with a laugh, "Yes, yes love, I know, I know. We've had this conversation 2 times already today! :D" lol
I petted her head, then went to the living room to throw my phone down onto yesterday's newspaper, on the couch.
"Wait for it... Wait for it..."
I smirked to myself as I stared hard at my phone.
*ringtone starts playing*
There he is, Daddy dearest.
I answered my dad's call.
"Hiya love, how are you? Listen-"
I stopped him right there.
"Wait wait wait! Let me guess! You're doing work on the kitchen, and you need my help, right? :D"
I asked him.
"Ah, you've just spoken to Kerry [my sister] then? You're quick, I just got off the phone to her about it and she's busy today. Can you help me out?"
He asked.
"Um, no, I haven't spoken to her at all for about a week now."
I told him.
"Oh. Well, are you free later anyway? I want to get the work all done by today."
He asked.
"Sorry I'm also busy today -- aren't you curious as to how I knew what you were going to say, though?"
I asked him.
"Kerry told you."
He answered.
"No. I told you, I haven't spoken to her for about a week. I've literally just woken up a couple minutes ago. But we've already had this conversation together a couple times already! I knew exactly when you were going to call me, and I knew exactly that you were going to ask me for help with your kitchen. How weird's that?! O_O"
He just started chuckling.
I explained to him about everything that I've been repeatedly experiencing over and over again this day, and he just chuckled about it all and still claimed that my sister must have told me about his kitchen work, even though it would be impossible for her to do that because of the extremely short timing between phone calls.
He didn't believe me, but he wasn't mad at me for refusing to help him with the kitchen work. He said he was disappointed I'm not free to help him, and that he'll phone my one of my cousins instead.
I don't care that I disappointed him though, he was never there for me in my life when I needed him the most, so fuck him if I'm not there for him when he needs me for a relatively insignificant thing :/
I went back up to my bedroom to "start the day over" again like I did twice (possibly thousands of times) before already. I looked at my bed, then out my window, but nothing happened. There was no blackout and "do-over" again.
10 minutes passed by as I paced back and forth, waiting impatiently for something to happen, before I decided that this was definitely my "real-world" reality and that I was definitely awake in my correct plane of existence. That déjà vu feeling slowly lifted from me, and the day started feeling "new" to me.
Even so, that experience has been on my mind all day, like, seriously, what the fuck was that all about? O_o
I have so many questions about it that I've been pondering on since it happened.
Like, what exactly was that voice in my head?
Was that voice my subconscious directly speaking to me?
Was it some sort of "God", even though I'm not a religious person and don't believe in a divine spiritual being?
What did that message the voice gave me mean to/for me?
Was I just experiencing the slightly different versions of reality that my consciousness/sentience is living out, in one of the many different multi-universes of my existence?
Was it a type of time-travel?
A type of "Groundhog Day"?
Why was there no studio or canned laughter in my awful cheesy American sitcom?
Will I ever get to try out any of those BDSM goth sub/domme kink play ideas?
What do you think? Have you ever experienced anything weird or para/ab-normal like this yourself before?
I'm open to all ideas and interpretations you have on this experience of mine, or your own :)
Please, let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
But, fuck it, this is what happened to me, and I enjoy sharing my life experiences with any who'll listen lol
Whether you believe this post or not, is entirely your choice, it's no skin off my back one way or the other. You can call me crazy, call me a prophet, call me a stupid overthinking cunt, call me whatever you want! lol but I'm going to go ahead and just jump right in to writing and sharing my experience with you. Enjoy :)
It started with a dream.
A beautifully weird, bizarre dream.
I was stuck inside this weird American-style family sitcom, playing the role of this young main lesbian character. I was living with this beautiful wife in a big house in the American suburbs, and my parents (played by elderly actors who look/act/sound nothing like my real life parents) also lived with us and was constantly bothering me and my wife, interrupting our romance and interfering with our lives. Think of this sitcom like a female lesbian version of "Everybody Loves Raymond". The only thing missing was any actual funny jokes (just mean insults), and there was a distinct lack of either studio or canned laughter being played in reaction to the insults.
The episode we was acting out, involved me and my missus going to a large American shopping mall, which was housing a special goth-themed fun-house event. Inside the goth fun house, was cramped Halloween-style decorated corridors, lined with large painted marble statues of this really gorgeous sexy goth chick sexually-torturing her slave (sometimes her slave was an inferior male, other times they was a submissive female).
Each statue was posed to be acting out a form of real humiliating/degrading sub/domme kink play, with varying degrees of fetishes. Lots of leash'n'collar, whips, and nipple/cock-torture kind of BDSM.
My "parents" were following behind us, and constantly interrupting us from fully enjoying this thrilling fun-house art experience lol so me and my wife were trying to lose them in the maze-like corridors so we can be alone together to fully enjoy this whole experience together.
At one point, I remarked to my wife in an atrocious American accent, "This is giving me some great ideas! Maybe we could act some of these poses out together ;)"
I was talking, but I had no control over what I was saying. Everything was scripted, I couldn't control my accent, and every time I tried to speak my mind, the words that came out of my mouth was completely different to what I was thinking. Although, I was indeed thrilled by the kinky sights I was seeing and the ideas they were giving me :P
She was thrilled by the thought of it all as well.
Oddly enough, I didn't feel physically turned-on by my surroundings. Like, I wasn't wet. My nips weren't hard. My clit wasn't throbbing. Like, the statues were really sexually thrilling to me, but it was more of a psychological sexual pleasure for me, instead of physical pleasure. I told my wife this, and she agreed she felt the same way. We were both more sexually into it all on a mental level, rather than physical...
The sitcom suddenly flashed forward a number of "seasons". I was now middle-aged (late 30's/early 40's). Somehow, me and my wife now had a pair of young twin sons together. My "parents" were still living in the same house with us.
We was all sat on sofas in a large sitcom-family living room, around this big old bulky CRT TV set. The family had just gotten a PS1, and one of my sons was eager to play a game of "soccer" on it with me. I told him in my awful thick American accent, "OK, but I am the queen of the FIFA. Prepare to lose, son!" -- OMFG I cringed so hard when I said that x_x haha
We then started playing this really shitty, godawful, terrible, practically unplayable, ugly-as-hell footie game that was dreadful even by old PS1 standards of football sims lol
I suddenly awoke from the dream. I was laying in my bed, on my side, hugging my pillow. I was back to my normal real world, Angelica Cream self again. The midday sun outside my bedroom window was shining bright and warm through my drawn curtains. I felt very tired though, and was about to close my eyes again when I suddenly heard a voice speak to me o_o
The voice came from within me. It was inside of my body, my head, just in me...
It was an androgynous voice, like as if both a female and a male voice was combined together, with a bassy echo aftereffect to it all, and it had this weird sort of African-style cadence to it, but it sounded like no African accent I had ever heard before. Every syllable was spoken with a taut intense stress on it.
"Do not be afraid, my ch
The voice spoke calmly to me.
My immediate thought was; oh how presumptive to think I'd be afraid of you lol like, seriously, why would I be afraid of a voice in my head? Get over yourself, new voice, just sit down and introduce yourself to all the other voices in my head, perhaps over a nice cup of tea or something lol :P
Also, just how cliche is that opening line??? lol
But yeah, the voice had a message for me, and this is the message it spoke to me in it's entirety:
"Do not be afraid, my ch
And with that, the sun outside my window started to glow around me even more brighter and warmer. It bathed me in an orangey-yellow light. Then the light literally picked me up out of my bed with no force behind it, floated me weightlessly over my bed about 7ft in the air, and effortlessly with great gentleness lowered me down onto my feet beside my bed.
So I was now standing beside my bed, the light had eased back to outside my window, and I was wondering in a state of calm "what the fuckery" lol trying to figure out just what I had experienced. I felt so tired, yet calm and accepting of it all.
I shook my head and rubbed my sleepy eyes with a yawn, as I looked to my wall clock. It was twenty minutes past 12. Despite my tiredness, I felt the need to put on my clothes (just a t-shirt and jeans) and head into the kitchen.
In the kitchen, I was met by my sweet kittycat, Mia. She was sat patiently by her empty food bowl, and she miaowed at me in a greeting, kind of like, "Ah, hooman, you're awake! :D ...Feed me, bitch! C'moooonnn, I'm starving hereeee!"
I exhaustively greeted her with a soft pet on her head, and told her to wait just a moment so I can get my bearings together. I went to the living room, and threw my phone down onto yesterday's newspaper on the couch, and then turned back to the kitchen only to have my phone suddenly ring.
It was my dad calling me.
I answered the phone, and he said,
"Hiya love, how are you? Listen, I'm doing the kitchen up today, and I need some hands to help me with carrying and holding some stuff. Are you free to come round. It'll just take a couple hours?"
I reluctantly accepted to help him, even though I was way too tired and so not wanting to spend my entire day doing that, because whenever my dad says something will only take just a "couple of hours", he really means about 8 hours of hard backbreaking stressful migraine-inducing thankless sweaty work.
Phone call ended, and feeling really shitty about the day that now lies ahead of me, I fed Mia her tin of meaty cat food, and went back up to my bedroom to try to wake up properly and mentally prepare myself for the stressful day ahead.
Everything that had just happened felt extremely like déjà vu to me. It felt like I had already lived all of this already, a thousand times over before. it was like I knew what was going to happen before it happened.
I then looked at my unmade bed trying to muster the sleepy strength to make it, when suddenly I blacked out.
I awoke in an instant in my bed, laying on my side, hugging my pillow. The midday sun shining bright and warm through my drawn curtains. It was just like it was when I woke up 10 minutes ago.
There was no androgynous voice speaking to me though. No light wrapping around me and lifting me up into the air and out of my bed. I felt a little more awake, though still just a bit sleepy.
I lifted my head up off my pillow and looked to the clock on the wall. Twenty minutes past 12 in the afternoon.
I thought for a moment on what had happened. And I felt the need to get up, put my clothes on (same t-shirt and jeans from before), and headed for the kitchen.
Mia greeted me in the kitchen with her sweet pleasant and totally demanding miaow as she sat by her food bowl. I petted her head and told her to wait just a moment. I went to the living room, threw my phone down onto yesterday's newspaper, and stared at it for a moment, waiting for it to ring. I felt like it was going to ring just like it did before.
And right on cue, it rang!
My dad was calling me.
I answered it,
"Hiya love,"
He began and told me/requested of me the exact same thing he had told me/requested of me just before, word-for-word.
This time, though, I refused to help him. He suddenly got really snippy and aggressive with me, like a petulant bratty ch
"Sorry but I got a lot on my plate right now. I need time for myself. My head-space just isn't into it today."
I told him.
He cruelly mocked me and my head-space, like the major cunt he can be at times. I explained to him the weird déjà vu that I had just experienced. He started laughing at me, calling me crazy, and then he called me an ungrateful brat for not helping him with his kitchen work >:/
He's the real brat!
I just told him to fuck off, and hung up on him. I went to the kitchen to feed Mia. I then went upstairs to my bedroom, that overwhelming sense of déjà vu hitting me real hard, though instead of looking at my unmade bed, I looked outside the window.
That midday sun was shining so bright, and began to glow brighter. It became blindingly bright, so much so that I had to close and shield my eyes from the intense brightness. I suddenly woke up.
I was laying in my bed, on my side, hugging my pillow. The midday sun shining normally again -- still bright and warm outside, but normal, through the drawn curtains of my window. I now felt extremely awake. Full of energy and life. I looked at my clock, twenty minutes past 12.
I jumped out of bed, and threw my clothes on (same t-shirt and jeans). I started to laugh at my situation like, "Oh, I know this one already! Here I go again! Watch me go! :D" haha
I went to the kitchen, Mia was sat by her bowl waiting for me. She miaowed at me, and I said with a laugh, "Yes, yes love, I know, I know. We've had this conversation 2 times already today! :D" lol
I petted her head, then went to the living room to throw my phone down onto yesterday's newspaper, on the couch.
"Wait for it... Wait for it..."
I smirked to myself as I stared hard at my phone.
*ringtone starts playing*
There he is, Daddy dearest.
I answered my dad's call.
"Hiya love, how are you? Listen-"
I stopped him right there.
"Wait wait wait! Let me guess! You're doing work on the kitchen, and you need my help, right? :D"
I asked him.
"Ah, you've just spoken to Kerry [my sister] then? You're quick, I just got off the phone to her about it and she's busy today. Can you help me out?"
He asked.
"Um, no, I haven't spoken to her at all for about a week now."
I told him.
"Oh. Well, are you free later anyway? I want to get the work all done by today."
He asked.
"Sorry I'm also busy today -- aren't you curious as to how I knew what you were going to say, though?"
I asked him.
"Kerry told you."
He answered.
"No. I told you, I haven't spoken to her for about a week. I've literally just woken up a couple minutes ago. But we've already had this conversation together a couple times already! I knew exactly when you were going to call me, and I knew exactly that you were going to ask me for help with your kitchen. How weird's that?! O_O"
He just started chuckling.
I explained to him about everything that I've been repeatedly experiencing over and over again this day, and he just chuckled about it all and still claimed that my sister must have told me about his kitchen work, even though it would be impossible for her to do that because of the extremely short timing between phone calls.
He didn't believe me, but he wasn't mad at me for refusing to help him with the kitchen work. He said he was disappointed I'm not free to help him, and that he'll phone my one of my cousins instead.
I don't care that I disappointed him though, he was never there for me in my life when I needed him the most, so fuck him if I'm not there for him when he needs me for a relatively insignificant thing :/
I went back up to my bedroom to "start the day over" again like I did twice (possibly thousands of times) before already. I looked at my bed, then out my window, but nothing happened. There was no blackout and "do-over" again.
10 minutes passed by as I paced back and forth, waiting impatiently for something to happen, before I decided that this was definitely my "real-world" reality and that I was definitely awake in my correct plane of existence. That déjà vu feeling slowly lifted from me, and the day started feeling "new" to me.
Even so, that experience has been on my mind all day, like, seriously, what the fuck was that all about? O_o
I have so many questions about it that I've been pondering on since it happened.
Like, what exactly was that voice in my head?
Was that voice my subconscious directly speaking to me?
Was it some sort of "God", even though I'm not a religious person and don't believe in a divine spiritual being?
What did that message the voice gave me mean to/for me?
Was I just experiencing the slightly different versions of reality that my consciousness/sentience is living out, in one of the many different multi-universes of my existence?
Was it a type of time-travel?
A type of "Groundhog Day"?
Why was there no studio or canned laughter in my awful cheesy American sitcom?
Will I ever get to try out any of those BDSM goth sub/domme kink play ideas?
What do you think? Have you ever experienced anything weird or para/ab-normal like this yourself before?
I'm open to all ideas and interpretations you have on this experience of mine, or your own :)
Please, let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
4 年 前
There's plenty of times before where I've gotten "lost" in a new area of town, or in a new city, or wherever. Only, I never actually felt lost, where I just sort of knew if I walked in this direction and take a turn here and head up that street there I'll end up at the place I needed/wanted to be, like as if I've already walked that route before, even though the location is entirely new to me. Maybe that's less deja vu, though, and more just intuition?
It's the same with video games lol there's countless amounts of times when I've been playing a new game I've never played or seen before, and yet I'll just know that there's a hidden secret item just waiting for me behind this particular rock that looks the same as every other rock in the area, or I'll know that a secret achievement will unlock if I bounce this random ball off of a wall 10 times haha but maybe that's just my specially honed gamers' intuition telling me that