The slide into accidental sissy perspective.

I have been having a thought over the last few months that is crystallizing a larger idea that has been forming over a few years. For the first few decades of watching porn I thought I was watching gorgeous girls being fucked and used by big cocked guys because I enjoyed seeing female pleasure. Her swollen pussy lips slowly bulge around the head of his cock as the shaft slid into her and her face changed to show that look of initial discomfort followed by a deep eye rolling pleasure.

Over the years of watching the very similar theme unfold before me I was aware of becoming used to the scene and took it in as a new normal. There is a part of me that developed a belief that all women crave a 9 inch cock to probe secret places in the depth of their pussy that trigger submissive adoration and huge cock craving addiction. Another part takes on the alpha male unleashing my uncaged desires upon a tight pussied gorgeous little waif who is in need of my educating ways. I have also become aware that another part of me takes on the role of the slut craving to be sexually appealing and be the object of arousal for a thick hard cock. It's the last role that I am still grasping.

I will start by saying that I don't feel gay or even bi. I do however have a want to be sensually sexual in that rare way even only 1% of women can pull off. The power of the female dark slutty sexuality feels hot to take on and honestly makes my cock hard to fantasize about. The problem comes in my inability to detach that fantasy from the reality of my manly male form. The act of dressing up as a woman would leave me looking like a guy wearing silly clothing and it's not the act of feeling feminine I would get off on. I don't have an interest in being a crossdresser or transsexual, that doesn't hit the right spot for me. It's the fantasy of being the gorgeous young woman kneeling down in front of a whole in the wall that a strangers cock will soon slide through for me to take deep into my throat and gag on until my eyes water and my mouth drips with my own drool... in a very hot and sexy looking way. It's the role play of imagining what it would feel like if I was born as that gorgeous female creature in a big city like New York or LA where I could lead new sexual adventures every night.

I will finish by saying that each clip I watch pulls out a slightly different feeling and role I identify with. I would not say I watch all clips knowing the perspective I want to climb into, but after a few in a session I notice I start to lean towards a trend for the next while. It may lead to clips where I want to dominate another, it may be the same clip but I want to be dominated, I could slide into watching sissy compilations, or I may feel like being a cuckold to a woman being dominated by another. I don't find I'm locked into one genders experience thought... the role play is the fun.