Follow up to me and my wife's first experienc
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Honestly, it didn't go that well. There were aspects about it that my wife and I really enjoyed, but there were also a lot of emotions I didn't realize were going to surface until it happened. My wife and I loved dancing and grinding on each other in front of people, it took a few hours til the place got busy (and people to get busy in other ways). We were apprehensive since we were completely new to all of this, but found the courage to approach a girl that my wife and I found attractive, she instantly broke the ice by kissing my wife and and feeling up her shirt, and guiding my wife's hands up hers. This was always the ultimate fantasy for both of us to share a girl together. While we were still getting to know her, the girl's friend and her husband came over and soon both girls were all over my wife. suddenly the original girl disappeared and we were left with her friend and her husband. They asked if we considered full swap, and caught up in the whirlwind, we agreed.
We went back into the private room and we all quickly undressed. The guy immediately took my wife and started fucking her, the girl climbed up on my wife's face and forced herself down. I'm in shock of how quickly things started happening and couldn't get erect. The more I watched my wife getting fucked the harder it was for me to get in the mood. The girl finally gave me attention, but no matter what she said or did I couldn't perform. I couldn't get hard, the image of my wife with another guy was heart wrenching. I wanted to call it off, but I kept trying, thinking if I could actually perform in any way It'd get easier, but I couldn't. I don't know if it was nerves, anxiety, the setting, or a mixture of other emotions... but I finally called it off. The couple quickly left and it was just me and my wife. She tried to calm me and gave me attention, but I just kept thinking about the fact she had just been with another man.
We went outside so I could gather my thoughts and realized I couldn't do that again. We talked, cried, and reaffirmed our love for one another. I really feel like seeing him with her just made me realize how much I wish it were me pleasuring her instead. Nothing the other girl did could satisfy me like my wife can. Afterward, just being with her I finally got hard, we went into the public room and I fucked her like crazy. Once we were done we finally left.
It's been 2 days (lots of hardcore, amazing sex together), but I still can't shake the image. I get sick to my stomach, I feel hot and nauseated. I love her with all my heart, even more now knowing she's the only one that can make me excited, but the whole night seemed like a waste. We basically showed up, let some stranger sleep with my wife and left. My wife feels horrible and thinks she disappointed me, but it wasn't her fault. We agreed to go in there together, and neither of us knew i was going to have that reaction.
Here's why I think this happened, and I feel it's entirely my fault. We both had a shared fantasy for her to be with another girl and also for her to share me with another girl. However, her fantasy to be with another guy wasn't something I wanted, but I went along with it thinking it might be okay cause I'd be screwing another girl at the same time, how could I be mad when I was doing the same exact thing? But I never could... What happened was EVERYTHING we wanted to share was completely flipped around to what we didn't. She never got what she wanted from the girl or with me, I obviously had my worst fear come true. The couple went too fast and only seemed interested in satisfying themselves.
We kinda felt taken advantage of because we were new. There was no easing into it and helping us get comfortable, we were just a quick bang and go to these people. My wife feels like she was just another notch on the bedpost. She hates that the experience ended up being so one sided.
Even after all that, she and I still want to go back... We liked when she was kissing and getting attention from the other girls, we both found it exciting to perform in front of others. We want to go again, take our time, have a strict rule that no other guy join us, even if I don't sleep with another girl, I want my wife to experience that feeling for herself.
But in the meantime, we fucked for 5 hours last night and I came 4 times, she came countless of times!
But then today I close my eyes and see that guy drilling her and I feel sick again. What can I do? How can I move past this feeling? Have others had a hard time moving past seeing their spouses in that position with other people? Inability to perform in the moment? Feeling jealous... am I wrong in being angry that she got off on it?
I'm sure I sound like a complete fool, and I feel like one. I know I got what I deserved for never speaking up sooner. And now I have to live with that memory.
Honestly, it didn't go that well. There were aspects about it that my wife and I really enjoyed, but there were also a lot of emotions I didn't realize were going to surface until it happened. My wife and I loved dancing and grinding on each other in front of people, it took a few hours til the place got busy (and people to get busy in other ways). We were apprehensive since we were completely new to all of this, but found the courage to approach a girl that my wife and I found attractive, she instantly broke the ice by kissing my wife and and feeling up her shirt, and guiding my wife's hands up hers. This was always the ultimate fantasy for both of us to share a girl together. While we were still getting to know her, the girl's friend and her husband came over and soon both girls were all over my wife. suddenly the original girl disappeared and we were left with her friend and her husband. They asked if we considered full swap, and caught up in the whirlwind, we agreed.
We went back into the private room and we all quickly undressed. The guy immediately took my wife and started fucking her, the girl climbed up on my wife's face and forced herself down. I'm in shock of how quickly things started happening and couldn't get erect. The more I watched my wife getting fucked the harder it was for me to get in the mood. The girl finally gave me attention, but no matter what she said or did I couldn't perform. I couldn't get hard, the image of my wife with another guy was heart wrenching. I wanted to call it off, but I kept trying, thinking if I could actually perform in any way It'd get easier, but I couldn't. I don't know if it was nerves, anxiety, the setting, or a mixture of other emotions... but I finally called it off. The couple quickly left and it was just me and my wife. She tried to calm me and gave me attention, but I just kept thinking about the fact she had just been with another man.
We went outside so I could gather my thoughts and realized I couldn't do that again. We talked, cried, and reaffirmed our love for one another. I really feel like seeing him with her just made me realize how much I wish it were me pleasuring her instead. Nothing the other girl did could satisfy me like my wife can. Afterward, just being with her I finally got hard, we went into the public room and I fucked her like crazy. Once we were done we finally left.
It's been 2 days (lots of hardcore, amazing sex together), but I still can't shake the image. I get sick to my stomach, I feel hot and nauseated. I love her with all my heart, even more now knowing she's the only one that can make me excited, but the whole night seemed like a waste. We basically showed up, let some stranger sleep with my wife and left. My wife feels horrible and thinks she disappointed me, but it wasn't her fault. We agreed to go in there together, and neither of us knew i was going to have that reaction.
Here's why I think this happened, and I feel it's entirely my fault. We both had a shared fantasy for her to be with another girl and also for her to share me with another girl. However, her fantasy to be with another guy wasn't something I wanted, but I went along with it thinking it might be okay cause I'd be screwing another girl at the same time, how could I be mad when I was doing the same exact thing? But I never could... What happened was EVERYTHING we wanted to share was completely flipped around to what we didn't. She never got what she wanted from the girl or with me, I obviously had my worst fear come true. The couple went too fast and only seemed interested in satisfying themselves.
We kinda felt taken advantage of because we were new. There was no easing into it and helping us get comfortable, we were just a quick bang and go to these people. My wife feels like she was just another notch on the bedpost. She hates that the experience ended up being so one sided.
Even after all that, she and I still want to go back... We liked when she was kissing and getting attention from the other girls, we both found it exciting to perform in front of others. We want to go again, take our time, have a strict rule that no other guy join us, even if I don't sleep with another girl, I want my wife to experience that feeling for herself.
But in the meantime, we fucked for 5 hours last night and I came 4 times, she came countless of times!
But then today I close my eyes and see that guy drilling her and I feel sick again. What can I do? How can I move past this feeling? Have others had a hard time moving past seeing their spouses in that position with other people? Inability to perform in the moment? Feeling jealous... am I wrong in being angry that she got off on it?
I'm sure I sound like a complete fool, and I feel like one. I know I got what I deserved for never speaking up sooner. And now I have to live with that memory.
9 年 前
What you need to come to terms with is that it was just sex, maybe not the best sex.....it certainly didn't sound like it. That's all it was though, presumably you and your partner have had partners before you were together, think of it like that. It's happened and you're still together, what is important is that you keep talking and that you support your partner because she will also be confused.
It's hard to know what is best....in truth I'd rather my wife enjoys fantastic sex with another man and then falls asleep with me than the opposite. I mostly watch to know she is enjoying herself, to know she is safe The feelings of inadequacy and humiliation actually arouse me now, they didn't at first. To begin with they were so powerful, so overwhelming I felt like my blood was boiling.
Your wife has sexy fun with another man, but she is still your wife. It's you she loves and you she wants to be with, you need to make sure she knows she isn't at fault. Your baptism of fire may have been less than your fantasy scenario but the truth is, it almost always is. Finding the right man or woman to truly light your fires is not an easy process and when it comes down to it, the only way to really know is to do it.
You've both been having fantastic sex together since right....that's also normal. A shared experience of such a thing will heighten your sexual relationship, as you relive the memory and "massage" the events to gently make it work for you. The more time passes the more acceptable the event will become, it's just sex.
It's important to keep talking with your wife, don't bottle it up, listen to her, get the feelings out....trust me if it brings you closer it makes you stronger. The first time is hard.....it gets easier, you refine your expectations, you make better judgement s and sooner or later you'll meet someone who really works for you both.
Don't give up, take your time, you've done the hardest part. You're both smarter and wiser now. The more normal it feels the more you have time to focus on other feelings, nerves and fears mellow but the reason you're doing it remains. It's important you both embrace what aspects really worked, if you're having great sex after the event something about it worked, despite it's rawness.