Brooklax
Women worship harmony,
and men worship order.
It’s the woman nagging the man away from the television to go and sit down for a normal dinner … gently asking him to set the table … which makes the guy wonder, not inappropriately, where she hid the bloody table cloths NOW … and he knows he’d better find the bloody things (before she does), or else she’s gonna make him move the bed to look for that squidgy thingy she ‘lost’ behind the headboard.
… and he knows he can retaliate by waltzing into the bathroom … and pour some ‘frothy-salts’ into the bath while she’s bathing, but first he has to call the church secretary to make sure that any faxes from her are intercepted ….
… because the last time it wasn’t intercepted … he got a phone-call from the pastor congratulating him on becoming a deacon, and the meetings are once a week right at the time her favorite show is on TV, and he will lead the 5-am prayers at the church for the following week …
… but he realizes his odds aren’t that good in such a venture … so what remains is The Nuclear Option …
He must make a phone-call to Brooklax …
… and Brooklax is the noisy-next-door-11-year-old-k** (with a 12-year-old-cellphone) that screams thirteen decibels over going to school …
And this phone-call must be made while she’s having her beauty sleep,
“Brooklax, this is the school calling, you must report for remedial maths classes tomorrow”
“Waaaaa Waaaa Waaaaa Waaaa !!!!!”
Hahhhhhhhhhhh
And hopefully she’ll not catch onto this, because then she’s gonna employ her nuclear option :
… and her nuclear option lasts for a month, and once a week her nuclear option pulls a roasted sheep-head from the oven, and then her nuclear option carves away its lips in such a way … that the a****l is grinning at him …
Her beloved mum.
So he must find those bloody table cloths before she does … but at least he knows he can go to sleep with a wide grin tonight … because she won’t find the place where he has hidden the cigarettes,
… and it’s in that box of Tampax that she never uses … because it’s from the wrong manufacturer … ha …
and men worship order.
It’s the woman nagging the man away from the television to go and sit down for a normal dinner … gently asking him to set the table … which makes the guy wonder, not inappropriately, where she hid the bloody table cloths NOW … and he knows he’d better find the bloody things (before she does), or else she’s gonna make him move the bed to look for that squidgy thingy she ‘lost’ behind the headboard.
… and he knows he can retaliate by waltzing into the bathroom … and pour some ‘frothy-salts’ into the bath while she’s bathing, but first he has to call the church secretary to make sure that any faxes from her are intercepted ….
… because the last time it wasn’t intercepted … he got a phone-call from the pastor congratulating him on becoming a deacon, and the meetings are once a week right at the time her favorite show is on TV, and he will lead the 5-am prayers at the church for the following week …
… but he realizes his odds aren’t that good in such a venture … so what remains is The Nuclear Option …
He must make a phone-call to Brooklax …
… and Brooklax is the noisy-next-door-11-year-old-k** (with a 12-year-old-cellphone) that screams thirteen decibels over going to school …
And this phone-call must be made while she’s having her beauty sleep,
“Brooklax, this is the school calling, you must report for remedial maths classes tomorrow”
“Waaaaa Waaaa Waaaaa Waaaa !!!!!”
Hahhhhhhhhhhh
And hopefully she’ll not catch onto this, because then she’s gonna employ her nuclear option :
… and her nuclear option lasts for a month, and once a week her nuclear option pulls a roasted sheep-head from the oven, and then her nuclear option carves away its lips in such a way … that the a****l is grinning at him …
Her beloved mum.
So he must find those bloody table cloths before she does … but at least he knows he can go to sleep with a wide grin tonight … because she won’t find the place where he has hidden the cigarettes,
… and it’s in that box of Tampax that she never uses … because it’s from the wrong manufacturer … ha …
9 年 前
Should you object to this, don't worry ... I'll send you a cucumber, some vaseline, and a list of instructions for practicing.