This is a story about Babara's sexuality

Gonna deliver a complete blogpost about my sexuals deviations (actually I'm some kind of powerful pervert) so everything's going to be perfectly clear and people will understand my mindset.

I tell you I swear to god... You've seen all the things you could have seen and fapped to all kind of weird porn (actually I think we all did) but you've never heard a story like this before. I can tell you... If you don't want to know STOP READING RIGHT NOW!

LOL ok you're all pervs and creepers of the internet.. I can bet on the fact that everyone is gonna read. BUT I WARNED YOU!

So here it goes. Ready?

Ok lets begin with my absolute conception of what beauty is actually. I will make it clear; there's nothing actually more beautiful in the world for me...
Than a 16 years old teenage boy with a cap. Pale skin, dark hair and intelligent but troubled gaze.

Since you understand that; this is what's coming up next...

I do travestite a lot (and sometime do it on live cam to be proud of myself because I sucess at looking like a man) to express my inner self; the man wich is the prisoner of my woman body. Actually I feel normal in boys clothes and since I was a c***d I do dress like one... And prefered (since like forever) hanging out with boys to explore woods, start fires, fight and play video games. But still I'm no lesbian... I'm really attracted to woman... especially to fat ones... And I do think all women are beautiful... I mean this is the poetry of the woman body... In my head a cult. But woman are unfortunately empty boxes... So the cult reveals to show nothing. This is too goddam cold. Except lesbians... And beside that; I do want to fuck with all of the goddam women even if I hate their minds. Since lesbian are not cold empty bitches they're really attracting to me. But in some kind of way; besides rare exceptions: I do hate women. I am a mysoginist. I take great pleasure into seducing and sucking hard on a woman pussy; a woman that was supposed to be heterosexual. These sluts are the best.


Women passion is nothing compared to what I feel for men. I mean I like being with men and they get me all crazy and wet with their minds... But beautiful men are actually rare... Like I mean, men are not meant to be beautiful... This is a woman thing. But even if I stand in front of a man that is not that nice (but I'm still a superficial one. I mean I got high standarts) I do get soaking wet over his mind and want to rip his clothes off.... No I mean... I never rip men clothes off but I'm always some kind of wishing one would rip mine without permission and get his way with me. Like real men should actually do. I mean this is real good sex in my mind.

I mean I still have a mental boner on this little boy (21) who just had his way with me while I was actually half passed out by taking too much d**gs. A month and half ago. I mean I never moved or never did anything but this was one of the best fuck in my life. I swear to god. The creepy thing is that the boy was really enjoying it too. I'm actually having "desire vagina cramps" just by typing these words on the screen.

Let me take you back to an other fact that actually motivates me to travestite... Like when I travestite I often try to look like something in particular and do suceed a lot at it (thing that actually get me very satisfied)...

I DO LOOK LIKE A 16 YEARS OLD BOY.

The person who exchange gazes with me in the mirror becomes really appealing and actually I do really feel good because I'm meeting my own actual beauty standards... And I would actually fuck myself.

When I do dress like this, I often see hot teenage bitches shooting hopefull and hopeless stupid teenages glazes at me... And they actually don't realise that I'm actually a 25 yeard old woman... And beside the fact that it makes me laugh a lot in my insides... I get excited over the situation.

Actually I have an abnormal high libido that I do try to control... And kind of succes at it... Like even if in life I'm always wet (so a man could actually come out of a bush and have his way with me and vagina would be happy) I do keep myself from having orgasms because being always horny and very easily aroused is very exciting. Like right now in my pants my pussy is soaking wet and having "desire cramps" over thw story I am actually telling you.

The problem is that I am ashamed of my sexuality so I do not fuck with anyone for a while... And then... Because sexuality have to express itself I like... Become to get really hungry for cocks. I mean it. I have storiea of me getting completely suffering from the pain in my vagina, that I asked strangers in the street to have a fuck... And had my way many times like this.

Ok now let's get to the intellectual point wich is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ME IN MY SEXUAL EXPRESSION... I mean besise the  great idea of being ****d (but not by black men; this would not be cool) I do need to really feel I want to fuck your mind first. I mean like actually I'm using bodies to have sex with people's mind like a vehicule wich have orgasmic features. Actually; to be honest I never have orgasm in sexual encounters... And probably will never have one (I'm actually buying an ice cream cone to the 18 years old boy who will be able to give me one)... Like I mean.. By never being satisfied by sex; i have a HUGE problem; I always need sex and I'm always willing to have sex. Actually if I could spend my like fucking in a bed and smoking cigarettes and joints... This would be perfect like hell for me.

Then.... I was obliged to find a way to get satisfied intellectually (I mean my sex thing in my head) and physically (guys do have limits) so I figured out that being actually in relationship with many men gives me the opportunity to have all the things I really do need to satisfy my gigantic libido that is not only down my cunt; but in my head. I have problems getting focus because I'm actually thinking about sex or phylosophying over sex 95% of the time. My life is a living hell of endless lust wich I feed a lot because it really do feels good. I never consider men like objects.. Like even the cutest 16 years old boy... The cutest of the world... Gives me the chance to have fun with him I would not actually go for it if he have a peanut instead of the brain.

So about having multiple relationships; I roll like this for three years (since I'm telling everyone I'm single since ex and I broke up  -- ex wich was an intelligent, cruel, beautiful, manly and narcissistic evil dork  -- because at the same time I actually am single now since I got my liberation -- I don't get in love so I keep mind clear and don't get crazy over a simple "unique" person). I mean; I'm not some kind of bitch; I do respect the men I share pieces of love with; and really do love the time I spend with these man and enjoy having a lover for a night... Or a few days depending on how I connect with the man in question. I cheated over my exes because in my insides I couldn't help myself from wanting to be in relationship with a ton of men. Because this is how I love men. I mean I love them that much that I feel like I'm sometimes walking through paths of life as a k** in a candystore (but like dicks are actually replacing candies ^^).

So now; switching subject; telling you why my cult of beauty over young men is actually okay with moralities or my conceptions of it. Okay I don't actually go under 18 because I mean there are laws... And I do not pick up any kind of youngsters. I'm looking for these little devils that know exactly what they want and exactly know how to get things done. They're always very intelligent and show evil manipulative behaviors. Like in life this is the point I'm saying some men are actually sluts compared to the saint I am... They do evil thing like keeping you stuck to their cock. Making you addicted to their cock. And like a master that comes from their inner insides... The thing that makes the feel more real (because they're doin what they really want and actually don't really know they're doing SM and being actually perfects masters by the brutality and innocent expression of their sexuality and their high libido -- when you are 16 you are in your peak) drive you completely crazy over their cock, their evil (when you are young you are cruel in some dumb way) and cute personality, and the esthetic cult [ that makes your eyes shine like stars from gazing to a fantasy ] that I actually building over this.

Ok now people I do tell you that in life; in most of the time; I am a wise woman.. But there is some guys with who I could never fuck; some guys like these make my brain all fucked up and then I end up being actually stupid and having tons of stupid behavior. Like if the chip in the head is getting fucking shortcuts. 

I mean it. I'm gonna tell you actually one thruth... This is the best way I had my way in life.. I mean actually without having any physical contact, i mean a real mental orgasm... When I am actually seeing the exact object of my desire -- the guy physically totally beautiful and perfect like an angel that fell from the depts of hell, he's brillant, he's a fucked up perv, he got the thing ; the rare sparkle in his eye; that I see instantly when I make eye contact that freezes me up while burning my inner depts; I'm the losing all my abilities to think, to talk, I blush like hell and every mental feature is shutted down for a while. I only see the actual image of the object of my desire and I get frozen forever in time.

Actually, I think my fucked up sexuality is some kind of being pure... because even if it's based on brutality.... there is always something tragically poetic about it.

So I guess this is it; I said mostly what my sexual feelings are about; And I feel really glad to have them now expressed in a text. I do feel very horny after writing my little story... Seriously; but I'll cum in a few days when I'll be obliged to go through pleasure that turns into pain (some kind of really good pain) because if I don't do it (having the final orgasm at the end of "the horny days of desire") I can't eat; I can't sleep and I get all fucked up. My orgasms are real over-satisfying explosion that puts me rightaway to sleep because it like drain jn one shot all my energy. And that feels really good. Right now I do feel my cunt that is really gonna blow by itself from being horny after putting exact words on what my sexuality is about...

And beside that, the pain of never cumming along with men gives me the chance to never lose desire. Actually being a cam girl satisfy some weird part of my sexuality by touching and giving sexual images to men that are actually invisible... And are texts to me. I'm in connection with minds but no body and I can tease myself alone, caress my body in my living room... Without never having a cock (even if wishing one -- but I would never take cock up vagina in front of a camera). Like I mean it completes the jigsaw of my sexuality in some kind of weird way... by being intellectual and some kind of self-artistic-inspired (thing that I live like eroticism). I mean I share experiences and body with invisible people... And that actually turns me on.

So this is it. Now you know why I say I'm always wet. I'm not lying over this. I'm aroused at everything in life in some kind of brutal and hard way; aroused like hell at the sparkle of simple thoughs and RIGHT NOW... I'm telling you all... I really could use a nice fap.

But will wait till it gets very painful.

Thank you for reading. For the ones that got a boner over reading this PMD me.