Karma: How I Earned My Place As The Meatpuppet
Karma: How I Earned My Place As The Meatpuppet
This is the story of my evolution from a person into the exposed, ruined meatpuppet I am today, and how I earned everything that came to me.
The seeds were always there. I was a dedicated porn gooner long before I ever had a relationship, spending endless hours hoarding and stroking to porn. Every woman I was ever in a relationship with, my goal was always to find a way to coerce them into making porn with me. Normal sex was a means to an end, get porn of it, then and ONLY then did I really enjoy it.
I was very into “accidentally” flashing. Leaving windows open when I stroked, leaving the door unlocked and “forgetting” someone was coming over. I sent unsolicited nudes to more women than I can count, either by “oops I didn’t mean to send that to YOU” or by creating fake emails and “outing” my own nudes to friends/family.
Every single partner that agreed (by whatever means) to make porn with me, that porn ended up online, with or without her permission. I guarantee you that if I’ve ever taken a nude photo or video of you, it’s been online and seen by countless strangers.
I steadily increased the level of kink in my own pics to make them more “shocking”, and more likely to be shared. I’ve sexually harassed multiple coworkers in the past. My urges to make and share kinky porn has cost me TWO different jobs.
Beyond just the porn sharing and exposing myself, I’ve also delved into other perversions that victimize and objectify women. I had a friend/coworker who used to drive me to and from work every day for several years, and I would make coffee for her each day. In the several years that we did this, not one week passed that I didn’t jerk off into her coffee at least once, just to enjoy the thrill of watching her unwittingly drinking my cum on the ride in. There were evenings I would edge for hours, just so my morning load would be especially big. My wife even caught me at it the night before more than once, and have a chuckle that I was rubbing one out, having no idea I was building up a load to feed to our mutual friend.
I was never faithful in a relationship. During my most recent marriage I used to regularly visit local private hot tubs or the nude beach, I never was there alone, I was sucking off other dudes every time I was there, often more than one. There was an occasion I did bring my wife to the hot tubs, and as she was giving me a blowjob, I couldn’t help but think of how many guys I had sucked off in that very tub.
These are just a few examples of the myriad of ways I’ve completely victimized people due to my deviant perversions.
Being completely addicted to my perversions, it was inevitable that my wife, like most previous relationships, would stumble across them eventually, and in time, she did. It happened numerous times through the course of our 10-year relationship. And every time I did the same thing, lie, deny, gaslight, promise to never do it again, wait for it to blow over, then jump right back into it again.
While she suspected that I might be hooking up with others, the one thing she caught me red-handed at, over and over, was sharing pics of my ex-girlfriend “Miru” online (pictures I pretended to delete many, many times). I got together with Miru when she was 20 and I was 33, and I had a substantial collection of photos of her, both nudes and full on hardcore, that I had pressured her into posing for. Most significantly, a set of photos from a gangbang I had coerced Miru into.
The night of the gangbang, Miru and I had been talking about fantasies, and she talked about a gangbang fantasy - as a fantasy, no indication she would actually want to do it. We’d both had a bit to drink that night, her especially, I kept refilling her glass. At one point she went to take a shower to get ready for sexytime. While she was in the shower, I posted a craigslist ad inviting several guys over and unlocked the apartment door. She returned from the shower having no idea. She was fully nude and going down on me when the first one arrived and walked in. She was understandably startled but I kept pushing by saying things like “surprise! Your fantasy is coming true!” The first photo of the series is her sitting nude on the bed with this stranger next to her, stroking himself, and she looks just SO uncomfortable. By then other guys began to arrive and she went along, despite not wanting to. What started for her as sex with her boyfriend had suddenly turned into four complete strangers fucking her while her boyfriend took pictures. In so many of the shots it’s clear she’s not really into it, and for me that was a large part of the appeal, that I’d “made” her do it, and now could revisit the pictures any time I wanted. That gangbang (more accurate, gang ****) happened on Christmas in 2007, and the photoset has been online in its entirety ever since. That wasn’t the only photoset I had of Miru but it was definitely the most-shared and most popular one. She hated it and asked me to delete ALL the pictures I’d taken of her when we split up the following Spring. I said I would. I never did.
And all these were just a FRACTION of the ways I used my perversions to victimize people. There are many more examples; I could fill pages upon pages with them. These already mentioned are just a few of the worst examples.
Fast forward to August of 2019. More than a decade had passed since I’d dated Miru, but I still regularly shared her photos online. Nothing had changed. I’d been with my wife for nearly 10 years and my perversions and porn-centric addictions still absolutely ruled my life. Porn was always my first and only real love. Finally, a breaking point for my wife was reached. I shared Miru’s photos yet again, and my wife was done with it. Just like that, she threw me out, and my perversions had cost me yet another relationship.
Something different happened this time, however. By sheer coincidence, for wholly unrelated reasons, several months prior to this, Miru and I had reconnected via email and had messaged back and forth to each other a few times. But this time, knowing Miru’s email was in my contacts, my wife contacted Miru, and explained what I’d done. I also contacted Miru the same day and offered an apology, which she pretended to accept.
Miru was actually livid, but didn’t tell me that at first. She played it off as no big deal, and set herself up to be a shoulder for me to cry on during the breakup. For the first few weeks, until I found a temporary place, my wife was staying with a friend in the evenings, and only came home during the day when I went to work (the same friend, incidentally, who had unknowingly ingested more than a half-gallon of my cum in her morning coffees; and yes, I did the math on that).
And here was the point at which I made the miscalculation that forever changed my life. I was thinking of Miru as the same naive 20-year-old I’d known 10+ years before, when in fact she was now in her early 30s, and not only much more experienced, but a fairly sadistic dom, a trait that partially had its roots in the very acts I myself had coerced her into when we were together. I had planted the seeds of a Frankenstien Monster of karma that was now coming back for me and I had no idea.
It started playfully, just talking and flirting. Then, the first weekend following the breakup, that Friday night, I got particularly drunk. Miru took the occasion to request a number of photos from me, which I, being drunk, depressed, and still enslaved by my perversions, took and shared with her. And at that point the entire tone shifted. I had no idea at the time and wouldn’t know until much later, but Miru had been in close communication with my wife who was well aware of what Miru was doing, so Miru had a heap of personal info about me, including where I worked. What started as a “submissive” game was very quickly becoming genuine blackmail. Miru was a dom with a grudge who had found in me a sub that she could go all-out on, no holds barred, no safe words, and have absolutely no guilt over doing so. I’d become locked onto a very precarious path.
And even way back then, Miru and my wife were in complete agreement that I 100% deserved to lose my balls. If only I’d known that was the goal from day one.
Miru began to dictate my entire sex life, every sexual act I performed, designed to degrade, and had to provide videos or photos of everything. I ate dog food nude on my hands and knees. I ziptied my dick and balls tightly, painfully, numerous times. Miru had me jerk off to her photos numerous times, telling the camera I was a pathetic loser because I couldn’t stop stroking to my ex. She was also posting these online where my wife could see them, and had emailed my blackmail stuff to my wife as well.
A few weeks later, I had moved out and had a new computer, and Miru was back again with a whole new list of demands, that, due to her ever-growing collection of blackmail, I was unable to refuse. She had all my login info on my social media by this point and I was terrified that she would start sharing this stuff with my friends as me.
She created my xhamster account, a motherless account, and several other accounts on numerous websites dedicated to public exposure, none of which I could log into. She had me take photos and videos to verify my identity on the sites, but she was running them. My photos and videos were posted to all of them, along with as much personal info as the sites would allow.
She also created a Fetlife account for me which she ran exclusively and began to arrange in-person meetings for me. As she said, her goal was to turn me into the kind of slut I always liked to pretend she was when I posted her pics.
Also around this time she gained full remote access to my laptop, and my personal porn collection simply vanished. By coincidence, the site where I used to hide my backup files also shut down around this time, so suddenly I no longer had any of the homemade porn I’d ever done with anyone else. I was only allowed to keep my own meatpuppet content. Miru liked to say I was her property.
My wife, meanwhile, barely 2 months out of our 10-year relationship, had already started seeing someone new, a guy 20 years younger than me who would soon be moving in with her.
Miru’s goal was always to degrade, humiliate, and punish me for all the years I’d posted her pics, and as she made contacts via my online profiles both locally and around the globe, she started to have more ideas.
She liked to set up “surprises” for me. For instance, there was one Saturday evening in October where my instructions were to go to a local adult bookstore, go into the video booths in the back (where there was a glory hole), and strip completely nude, putting everything except my phone into a small bag. Then I had to shove the bag into the next booth and stay put until she told me otherwise. The challenge, as she told me, was that I would have to service enough dicks, and then sneak to the next booth nude and dripping with cum to get my clothes back before I could leave. The twist she didn’t tell me was that she had posted online ads advertising that I would be there, AND she had arranged with a particular dom who was specifically tasked to take the bag with my clothes in it. Miru told me after the fact that the dom was incredibly turned on by the idea of me sucking him off through the gloryhole, him knowing the whole time that he was going to fuck me over and leave me stranded nude in a public place. Miru also had me live tweeting all this, and I had no idea that my wife was well aware and was reading the tweets as I posted them.
Thanks to Miru’s advertising, there was a steady stream of guys coming back to the video booths. I had guys in the next booth and coming into my booth, dicks out and looking for head. I tried explaining to some of them that my clothes had been stolen and I was stuck here, hoping one of them might help, but the only response I got was “that’s hot”. One guy said he’d help if I let him fuck me, so I did, and after he jizzed in me he said “bye, good luck” and I didn’t see him again.
Basically, they were all guys Miru had picked who were turned on by the idea of using me and then leaving me there. Me being stuck and not having a choice made it hotter for them. But the clock was ticking, and my phone’s battery was dying. In time, the store would close, all the lights in the video section would go on, and I would be forced out, bareass naked, and at this point with a fair amount of cum drying on me, as I had nothing to clean it up with. And the added difficulty is that I had rented a room from a nearby motel for the night, and my room key was in the pocket of the shorts that had been swiped. Even if I could make it to my room, how would I get in? Knock on the motel office door like this?
I was no longer aroused in the slightest, panicked as closing time drew closer and closer, ashamed, exposed, naked, and still sucking dicks. Miru was telling me once I’d sucked enough she would have the guy who stole my clothes return them, so I was sucking dick in a sheer survival panic. After I’d been there for a number of hours, with my phone about to die and less than an hour before the lights would be coming on, Miru messaged me with “I’m done with you for tonight, You aren’t getting your clothes back. Have a nice walk home” and that was the moment it was confirmed for me that I was going to have to leave as I was.
A few lucky things probably saved me from arrest, First, it was quite late and dark outside. Second, there was only one employee in the store by then, but 2 exits, one at the far end of the store, one right by the booth area, And third, my motel room was on the first floor and the bathroom window had no screen in it.
I heard the employee (who probably didn’t realize I was even still there) go out the far door for a smoke break. The store was silent. I quietly opened the door to the booth. My bare feet were slippery from the cum on the booth floor. Then, I ran. I rushed out the door by the booths, and was outside. No cars or people nearby. I tried to keep in shadows as I crossed the road heading for my motel. I realized I couldn’t dash right through the parking lot area, so I had to move in a big loop all the way around to the back of the block. At one point I saw several people walking on the same sidewalk I was on when I rounded a corner, but they were walking away from me so none of them saw me. I looped around the back of the motel, found my window, managed to get it open, and wriggled through. My feet and legs were all scratched up from underbrush, I’d sc****d myself up pretty good getting through the narrow window, but I’d made it. I was safe. When I told Miru about my run back, she only said she wished I’d made a video.
During this period of time I was living in a pretty remote location (crashing with a coworker, to this day I’ve yet to find my own place) and didn’t own a vehicle, so in-person meetups were difficult to arrange, and Miru insisted I continue to provide a steady stream of pictures and videos for posting. I was also NEVER allowed to cum without her permission. I could stroke and edge all I wanted, but no cumming. She insisted on any video I make in which I cum there should be a big load. And she could potentially ask at any moment, so if I couldn’t produce, there would be punishments.
After the video booth incident, naturally, I was far more wary about where/how I would be meeting people. But Miru had something else up her sleeve. She arranged a meeting for me on a Saturday afternoon. I was going to be picked up, and at some point along the way I would be told to strip down and put on a blindfold. However, she also said that since I’d been doing well not cumming except when she ordered, that I was going to be rewarded and would actually get to fuck a pussy. That was all the information I was given.
My ride arrived right on time, and we barely spoke on the drive. Once we were in the middle of nowhere (again, remote area) he gave me a blindfold, a ball gag, and a collar and told me to strip and put them on. I did, and from that point had no idea where we were going. We got to our destination, and the driver came around and helped me, still nude and blindfolded, out of the truck. The truck was closed and locked with my clothes inside. Then my hands were bound behind my back, and a leash was attached to the collar. THEN the blindfold came off. We were by a tiny house in a very remote, farm-type area. There were some fenced-in pens, a barn. I could smell a****ls. I had NO idea where I was. There was another guy sitting out front waiting for us who started filming on his phone. I didn’t see a woman anywhere but assumed she was inside.
I was led, not inside, but around back and brought into a pen with several goats. I was trying not to step in any goat droppings with my bare feet when the driver brought out some lube and started stroking my cock with it, getting me hard and leading me by my thickening cock. Phone guy was still filming. There was no woman to be seen. He was bringing me closer to a goat in the corner of the pen.
That’s when it hit me. Miru had said I would get to fuck a pussy. She didn’t say a HUMAN pussy. I was about to be bred with the goat.
Sure enough, driver lifted the goat’s tail and applied some lube, then led my cock directly to the goat’s pussy, and before I could even think of how to protest with my mouth gagged and hands tied behind me, he had guided my cock into the goat. He told me to fuck her and breed her, to not stop til I’d cum.
This was easier said than done. I was in a half-crouching awkward position, fighting to keep balance with my hands tied behind me. I was also fairly horrified as a minute before I’d had no idea I would be fucking an a****l and now here I was with my hard dick inside one. The lube and the physical stimulation was keeping me hard, but working towards orgasm was a whole other task. Not to mention I was concerned about potentially hurting the goat.
After a few minutes of trial and error I found an angle that seemed to be okay, and the goat seemed fine, so I started thrusting. Phone guy was still filming, and driver was stroking his cock watching, telling me to fuck her good and to give her all my cum. It took what seemed like a LONG time; again, I was able to keep hard, but the a****l smell and seeing my own dick sliding in and out of the goat and the knowledge that it was being FILMED was all keeping me from reaching orgasm. We were also OUTSIDE in broad daylight, and I could see a road in the distance that cars were passing on, and wondered if they could see me doing this. On top of all that, the very real helplessness of my position was not lost on me. I was in the middle of nowhere, leashed, gagged, hands bound, with two obvious pervs who were getting off to me being forced to breed an a****l. For all I knew they planned to keep me there for good. They really wanted me to cum in the goat, but what was in store for me afterwards? Imprisonment there? Another “stranding”, dumping my nude ass in a much more public place? These were the thoughts going through my head while I fucked the goat, my dick hard despite my fear, trying to keep a rhythm that would get me to orgasm while also fearful of what would happen then. All I could do was focus and keep thrusting, in, out, in, out… long steady strokes in and out of that goat’s pussy.
Finally I managed to push myself over the edge and shot deep inside the goat, moaning and grunting so they would know I was cumming. They both laughed as I felt my dick spasm, pumping all my cum deep into the goat.
It turned out all my other worries were for nothing. After, I was led back to the truck, untied, and got dressed. I had to put the blindfold back on for the ride back, only being told to remove it when we were back in an area I knew. The whole ride back I could feel the drying wetness from the goat on my dick. The first thing I did when I got home was to take a LONG shower, scrubbing the hell out of myself.
A note about the video that was made. Miru claimed she never got it, and never heard from the farm dudes again. However, much later my wife revealed she knew about the goat incident, and I don’t think even she would believe I would do that unless she’d actually seen it. So, I am 99% sure Miru has the video and has shared it with at least my wife. None of the sites Miru had me create profiles for allow a****l videos, however. I have never seen it online. I don’t know if the farm guys ever posted it or if they have a private collection. All I DO know is that somewhere in the world, there is a video of me fucking a goat that at least a few people have been getting off to.
And, much to Miru’s eventual delight, that goat would turn out to be literally the last pussy I ever fucked, the last ANYTHING I ever fucked.
Mind you, this was all during the first few months after my wife and I split. Things with Miru would take another turn soon. Due to several circumstances, during that November I ended up moving from the more remote place I was staying back into town, so I was far more centrally located. I was still crashing with friends, but everything was now within walking distance. And my online profiles had been steadily growing.
At Miru’s direction, I began hosting “motel nights” once or twice a month. I would rent a motel room (always at my own expense, of course) and Miru would, via my online profiles, send me guys to service. Basically, I would get the room, strip down, and leave the door unlocked. I seldom knew who was coming, how many, or when, and didn’t know what they were planning to do to me. I also had to take photos and videos at the motel. I never did get any with other guys as most were camera shy, and Miru was VERY strict about respecting everyone else’s desire to not be photographed if they didn’t want. Now, as my wife had told Miru I didn’t like things in my butt, Miru made it a point to find guys who loved fucking ass. There was one night where I had 4 guys come by throughout the evening. And of course, once they’d come once, they were always ready to come for my next motel night. I was made to buy and wear lingerie for them, buy sex toys, all kinds of restraints. This was my life for several months. During the day, just working and living, but every few weeks becoming an open door cumdump for any perv that wanted to come by and use me. Miru’s goal of turning me into “the slut I used to pretend she was” was progressing nicely.
In January 2020, there was one particular incident that stood out. Miru had found a guy who was very into CBT (cock and ball torture) and liked inflicting pain. Didn’t realize that until I was already tied down and he cinched a thick ziptie INCREDIBLY tight around my balls. It was EXCRUCIATING. Then, he started power fucking my ass, using the ziptie around my balls as a grip. He yanked, pulled, twisted, and cinched it ever tighter. When he was done, he left without untying me. I had to work my hands free while my balls were in excruciating pain and turning purple. I finally managed to free myself, and get the ziptie off, which had been so tight it was cutting the skin. The next day my scrotum was swollen to nearly twice its normal size. In retrospect, I should have gone to the ER then, but didn’t want to explain what had happened. I was in incredible pain for days.
Between that motel night and my next one, the swelling went down, and things started feeling a bit more normal, although I was experiencing persistent aches from time to time. I also noticed that my ability to achieve and sustain an erection was profoundly reduced. I could barely get hard at all, and orgasm, while still feeling mostly like an orgasm, actually caused pain in my balls. Not severe, but a discomfort that would linger for a bit after I came.
Over the next few months I did a number more motel nights, photosets, videos, many showcasing my erectile difficulties. Miru delighted in all of it, often highlighting in posted videos my lack of erection, even when cumming. And cumming, of course, hurt. She liked seeing me in pain. At one point she wanted me to do a video where I worked a huge cucumber into my ass, and insisted she see my face, my ass, and the cucumber actually entering me in the video. While I was trying to position myself, and get myself lubed up enough to work the whole thing in, I slipped on the edge of the bed and sat down hard on the lubricated cucumber, resulting in the ENTIRE THING plunging up my ass in one fell swoop. That video ended up posted and is one of the more popular ones on my xhamster profile.
Shortly thereafter, of course, COVID came along and put an end to the motel nights. Now I was left to producing solo content at Miru’s demand. Photos, videos, anything she asked. As degrading, humiliating, and mentally painful as she could make it. And gleefully posted everything as my profiles view counts and followers increased. I’d reached the point at which I was just conditioned to obey her.
I’d moved yet again, and finally been told my wife had another man living with her, so in addition to the already emasculating issues I was having, Miru heaped as much cuckold shame onto me as she could. She had me do a video in which I stare into the camera, nude, face and dick showing, and masturbate to orgasm, all while thinking only of my wife and her new boyfriend having sex. That video is ALSO on my xhamster (“meatpuppet knows his place”) but unless you know the backstory it just looks like another jerkoff video.
By June, the discomfort in my balls had worsened to the point that I finally saw a doctor who examined me and said that my testes had clearly sustained severe damage, and then healed wrong, which is what was causing my problems; they were borderline necrotic and slowly dying. I could have been helped with surgery when it first happened, but as it’d let it go for months, it was too late. There was no saving them, I needed to have them both removed. That June (still 2020) they were removed, and I was given implants so it at least LOOKED like I had balls. The night before the surgery, I did a video of the last time I will ever cum. Hundreds of people have seen it since it was posted
If I’d been having erection issues prior to this, removing my balls altogether basically eradicated ANY functionality at all. I have not had an erection in any way, shape, or form since June 2020. No morning wood, nothing. My urge to have sex is nonexistant. However, my psychological need to be used and humiliated was conditioned powerfully into me by Miru’s nonstop barrage of sexual tasks. Any drive I ever had to post or share photos of anyone is absolutely gone. All the perverse things I used to do, all drive to do any of it is erased. As Miru put it when she discovered my surgery was basically castration (to her absolute delight) I’ve been “fixed” and won’t be a danger to anyone sexually ever again, as my “weapon” has been “disarmed”.
I still have attraction to sexiness in people, I just can’t do anything about it, nor do I feel any particular impulse to do anything sexual about it. I’ve just been conditioned to obey Miru.
I have, however, developed massive boner and cumshot envy, I don’t watch any of the porn I used to, seeing a hard dick fucking a vagina is light years away from anything I can fantasize about doing, and in fact only serves to remind me of the much better sex life my wife has been enjoying without me. The only porn I watch anymore is pretty much just solo guys or trans women jerking off and cumming. I ACHE to feel that again, but since my surgery the closest I get to cumming is just a little dribble of semen out of a limp dick, with little to no sensation. And without testosterone in my body (tried a supplement but it made me sick) I have been growing boobs, and my facial hair is getting softer. Miru and my wife said I deserved to lose my balls, and that is exactly what they achieved. Mostly Miru, but it wouldn’t have been possible without all the blackmail info she got from my wife at the start.
I mentioned I could “almost” cum, with my pathetic dribble of semen, but even that takes considerable effort. I can’t just grab my dick and stroke, even with lube, that gets me nowhere, and I’ll end up just pulling on my limp dick for hours until it’s sore and I’m frustrated. The only thing that gives me some sensation is cutting off my air supply to make myself lightheaded. The harder I restrict it, the more sensation I get at the moment of “orgasm”, but even the most I’ve gotten so far is a far cry from what an actual orgasm feels like, it’s more like a mild tingling, with none of the sense of release or relief. Sadly, this will probably be how I go out, which is a fittingly humiliating end to me, autoerotic asphyxiation. The final capstone on the legacy I’ve built myself. Dying alone, trying desperately to cum, failing, and finally taking it too far, to be found in an exposed, humiliating, helpless position.
I’ve also noticed that when I push in a particular way when I poop, I also get a little sensation in my dick, and the head of it grows just slightly, and it gets slightly longer (though that’s likely just from forcing a little more blood into it from pushing). Also if I’m REALLY backed up (like, haven’t pooped in a week or more), I can sometimes get a little more sensation. I have tried to work this into anything like a real erection, but found that impossible. I’ve come to accept I’ll never have an erection again, I’ll never cum again. I am literally emasculated and my genitals are just for show, functionally useless. And in retrospect, looking at how I behaved when I was capable, I probably do deserve that. I may be the property of Miru, but in many ways I’ve been freed. She’s right, I’ve been “fixed”.
Being sexually useless, and in a pandemic, there wasn’t much more I could do, but Miru of course found a new direction for me. As I do get a bit of sensation when I need to poop badly, Miru has focused my entire remaining sex drive into s**tplay. I can’t produce sperm or ejaculate, but I can produce shit. I used to love cumming, getting cum all over me, and thanks to Miru I’ve replaced that with shit. I was hesitant at first, but she kept pushing for more extreme videos, and I have since become well-trained. I have dozens of s**tplay videos posted online now, which have been viewed tens of thousands of times. That’s where I am now, and where Miru plans to leave me (so she says) a castrated impotent cuckold who smears himself with his own shit for internet deviants to jerk off to. And all the sites she’s posted the videos to have my actual name, contact info, etc. She’s shared this stuff with my friends and family. Everyone I know has seen this, or at least heard about it through gossip. She’s also tasked me to write up this essay, so it’s available for anyone to read, so anyone who sees the things I do and wonders “why” understands not only why I do it, but what I have done to earn it, and how I have not been subjected to a single thing that I didn’t wholly deserve.
Miru and my wife turned me from a person who sexually exploits others into a castrated, emasculated, cuckolded loser whose last ever sex was with a goat, and now I spend the majority of my time struggling to hold in shit so when I make videos for the whole world to watch, I will be able to produce huge amounts to smear all over myself and eat. And once COVID is cleared up, my ass and mouth will be offered up to the world, for anyone to use however they want. And I’ll never be able to say no. With my extreme penis envy, which gives me a MASSIVE desire to handle and interact with hard and cumming dicks, I’ll do anything now for hard dicks. Suck them. Let them fuck me. Be their cum dumpster. Their gangbang slut. Their toilet. They can use and degrade me however they want. I’ll refuse nothing. Miru made sure of that. Constantly craving because I can’t get off, never satisfied because my genitals are destroyed, I have become the slut I always used to make her out to be. I have become a meatpuppet.
And I deserved it all.
This is the story of my evolution from a person into the exposed, ruined meatpuppet I am today, and how I earned everything that came to me.
The seeds were always there. I was a dedicated porn gooner long before I ever had a relationship, spending endless hours hoarding and stroking to porn. Every woman I was ever in a relationship with, my goal was always to find a way to coerce them into making porn with me. Normal sex was a means to an end, get porn of it, then and ONLY then did I really enjoy it.
I was very into “accidentally” flashing. Leaving windows open when I stroked, leaving the door unlocked and “forgetting” someone was coming over. I sent unsolicited nudes to more women than I can count, either by “oops I didn’t mean to send that to YOU” or by creating fake emails and “outing” my own nudes to friends/family.
Every single partner that agreed (by whatever means) to make porn with me, that porn ended up online, with or without her permission. I guarantee you that if I’ve ever taken a nude photo or video of you, it’s been online and seen by countless strangers.
I steadily increased the level of kink in my own pics to make them more “shocking”, and more likely to be shared. I’ve sexually harassed multiple coworkers in the past. My urges to make and share kinky porn has cost me TWO different jobs.
Beyond just the porn sharing and exposing myself, I’ve also delved into other perversions that victimize and objectify women. I had a friend/coworker who used to drive me to and from work every day for several years, and I would make coffee for her each day. In the several years that we did this, not one week passed that I didn’t jerk off into her coffee at least once, just to enjoy the thrill of watching her unwittingly drinking my cum on the ride in. There were evenings I would edge for hours, just so my morning load would be especially big. My wife even caught me at it the night before more than once, and have a chuckle that I was rubbing one out, having no idea I was building up a load to feed to our mutual friend.
I was never faithful in a relationship. During my most recent marriage I used to regularly visit local private hot tubs or the nude beach, I never was there alone, I was sucking off other dudes every time I was there, often more than one. There was an occasion I did bring my wife to the hot tubs, and as she was giving me a blowjob, I couldn’t help but think of how many guys I had sucked off in that very tub.
These are just a few examples of the myriad of ways I’ve completely victimized people due to my deviant perversions.
Being completely addicted to my perversions, it was inevitable that my wife, like most previous relationships, would stumble across them eventually, and in time, she did. It happened numerous times through the course of our 10-year relationship. And every time I did the same thing, lie, deny, gaslight, promise to never do it again, wait for it to blow over, then jump right back into it again.
While she suspected that I might be hooking up with others, the one thing she caught me red-handed at, over and over, was sharing pics of my ex-girlfriend “Miru” online (pictures I pretended to delete many, many times). I got together with Miru when she was 20 and I was 33, and I had a substantial collection of photos of her, both nudes and full on hardcore, that I had pressured her into posing for. Most significantly, a set of photos from a gangbang I had coerced Miru into.
The night of the gangbang, Miru and I had been talking about fantasies, and she talked about a gangbang fantasy - as a fantasy, no indication she would actually want to do it. We’d both had a bit to drink that night, her especially, I kept refilling her glass. At one point she went to take a shower to get ready for sexytime. While she was in the shower, I posted a craigslist ad inviting several guys over and unlocked the apartment door. She returned from the shower having no idea. She was fully nude and going down on me when the first one arrived and walked in. She was understandably startled but I kept pushing by saying things like “surprise! Your fantasy is coming true!” The first photo of the series is her sitting nude on the bed with this stranger next to her, stroking himself, and she looks just SO uncomfortable. By then other guys began to arrive and she went along, despite not wanting to. What started for her as sex with her boyfriend had suddenly turned into four complete strangers fucking her while her boyfriend took pictures. In so many of the shots it’s clear she’s not really into it, and for me that was a large part of the appeal, that I’d “made” her do it, and now could revisit the pictures any time I wanted. That gangbang (more accurate, gang ****) happened on Christmas in 2007, and the photoset has been online in its entirety ever since. That wasn’t the only photoset I had of Miru but it was definitely the most-shared and most popular one. She hated it and asked me to delete ALL the pictures I’d taken of her when we split up the following Spring. I said I would. I never did.
And all these were just a FRACTION of the ways I used my perversions to victimize people. There are many more examples; I could fill pages upon pages with them. These already mentioned are just a few of the worst examples.
Fast forward to August of 2019. More than a decade had passed since I’d dated Miru, but I still regularly shared her photos online. Nothing had changed. I’d been with my wife for nearly 10 years and my perversions and porn-centric addictions still absolutely ruled my life. Porn was always my first and only real love. Finally, a breaking point for my wife was reached. I shared Miru’s photos yet again, and my wife was done with it. Just like that, she threw me out, and my perversions had cost me yet another relationship.
Something different happened this time, however. By sheer coincidence, for wholly unrelated reasons, several months prior to this, Miru and I had reconnected via email and had messaged back and forth to each other a few times. But this time, knowing Miru’s email was in my contacts, my wife contacted Miru, and explained what I’d done. I also contacted Miru the same day and offered an apology, which she pretended to accept.
Miru was actually livid, but didn’t tell me that at first. She played it off as no big deal, and set herself up to be a shoulder for me to cry on during the breakup. For the first few weeks, until I found a temporary place, my wife was staying with a friend in the evenings, and only came home during the day when I went to work (the same friend, incidentally, who had unknowingly ingested more than a half-gallon of my cum in her morning coffees; and yes, I did the math on that).
And here was the point at which I made the miscalculation that forever changed my life. I was thinking of Miru as the same naive 20-year-old I’d known 10+ years before, when in fact she was now in her early 30s, and not only much more experienced, but a fairly sadistic dom, a trait that partially had its roots in the very acts I myself had coerced her into when we were together. I had planted the seeds of a Frankenstien Monster of karma that was now coming back for me and I had no idea.
It started playfully, just talking and flirting. Then, the first weekend following the breakup, that Friday night, I got particularly drunk. Miru took the occasion to request a number of photos from me, which I, being drunk, depressed, and still enslaved by my perversions, took and shared with her. And at that point the entire tone shifted. I had no idea at the time and wouldn’t know until much later, but Miru had been in close communication with my wife who was well aware of what Miru was doing, so Miru had a heap of personal info about me, including where I worked. What started as a “submissive” game was very quickly becoming genuine blackmail. Miru was a dom with a grudge who had found in me a sub that she could go all-out on, no holds barred, no safe words, and have absolutely no guilt over doing so. I’d become locked onto a very precarious path.
And even way back then, Miru and my wife were in complete agreement that I 100% deserved to lose my balls. If only I’d known that was the goal from day one.
Miru began to dictate my entire sex life, every sexual act I performed, designed to degrade, and had to provide videos or photos of everything. I ate dog food nude on my hands and knees. I ziptied my dick and balls tightly, painfully, numerous times. Miru had me jerk off to her photos numerous times, telling the camera I was a pathetic loser because I couldn’t stop stroking to my ex. She was also posting these online where my wife could see them, and had emailed my blackmail stuff to my wife as well.
A few weeks later, I had moved out and had a new computer, and Miru was back again with a whole new list of demands, that, due to her ever-growing collection of blackmail, I was unable to refuse. She had all my login info on my social media by this point and I was terrified that she would start sharing this stuff with my friends as me.
She created my xhamster account, a motherless account, and several other accounts on numerous websites dedicated to public exposure, none of which I could log into. She had me take photos and videos to verify my identity on the sites, but she was running them. My photos and videos were posted to all of them, along with as much personal info as the sites would allow.
She also created a Fetlife account for me which she ran exclusively and began to arrange in-person meetings for me. As she said, her goal was to turn me into the kind of slut I always liked to pretend she was when I posted her pics.
Also around this time she gained full remote access to my laptop, and my personal porn collection simply vanished. By coincidence, the site where I used to hide my backup files also shut down around this time, so suddenly I no longer had any of the homemade porn I’d ever done with anyone else. I was only allowed to keep my own meatpuppet content. Miru liked to say I was her property.
My wife, meanwhile, barely 2 months out of our 10-year relationship, had already started seeing someone new, a guy 20 years younger than me who would soon be moving in with her.
Miru’s goal was always to degrade, humiliate, and punish me for all the years I’d posted her pics, and as she made contacts via my online profiles both locally and around the globe, she started to have more ideas.
She liked to set up “surprises” for me. For instance, there was one Saturday evening in October where my instructions were to go to a local adult bookstore, go into the video booths in the back (where there was a glory hole), and strip completely nude, putting everything except my phone into a small bag. Then I had to shove the bag into the next booth and stay put until she told me otherwise. The challenge, as she told me, was that I would have to service enough dicks, and then sneak to the next booth nude and dripping with cum to get my clothes back before I could leave. The twist she didn’t tell me was that she had posted online ads advertising that I would be there, AND she had arranged with a particular dom who was specifically tasked to take the bag with my clothes in it. Miru told me after the fact that the dom was incredibly turned on by the idea of me sucking him off through the gloryhole, him knowing the whole time that he was going to fuck me over and leave me stranded nude in a public place. Miru also had me live tweeting all this, and I had no idea that my wife was well aware and was reading the tweets as I posted them.
Thanks to Miru’s advertising, there was a steady stream of guys coming back to the video booths. I had guys in the next booth and coming into my booth, dicks out and looking for head. I tried explaining to some of them that my clothes had been stolen and I was stuck here, hoping one of them might help, but the only response I got was “that’s hot”. One guy said he’d help if I let him fuck me, so I did, and after he jizzed in me he said “bye, good luck” and I didn’t see him again.
Basically, they were all guys Miru had picked who were turned on by the idea of using me and then leaving me there. Me being stuck and not having a choice made it hotter for them. But the clock was ticking, and my phone’s battery was dying. In time, the store would close, all the lights in the video section would go on, and I would be forced out, bareass naked, and at this point with a fair amount of cum drying on me, as I had nothing to clean it up with. And the added difficulty is that I had rented a room from a nearby motel for the night, and my room key was in the pocket of the shorts that had been swiped. Even if I could make it to my room, how would I get in? Knock on the motel office door like this?
I was no longer aroused in the slightest, panicked as closing time drew closer and closer, ashamed, exposed, naked, and still sucking dicks. Miru was telling me once I’d sucked enough she would have the guy who stole my clothes return them, so I was sucking dick in a sheer survival panic. After I’d been there for a number of hours, with my phone about to die and less than an hour before the lights would be coming on, Miru messaged me with “I’m done with you for tonight, You aren’t getting your clothes back. Have a nice walk home” and that was the moment it was confirmed for me that I was going to have to leave as I was.
A few lucky things probably saved me from arrest, First, it was quite late and dark outside. Second, there was only one employee in the store by then, but 2 exits, one at the far end of the store, one right by the booth area, And third, my motel room was on the first floor and the bathroom window had no screen in it.
I heard the employee (who probably didn’t realize I was even still there) go out the far door for a smoke break. The store was silent. I quietly opened the door to the booth. My bare feet were slippery from the cum on the booth floor. Then, I ran. I rushed out the door by the booths, and was outside. No cars or people nearby. I tried to keep in shadows as I crossed the road heading for my motel. I realized I couldn’t dash right through the parking lot area, so I had to move in a big loop all the way around to the back of the block. At one point I saw several people walking on the same sidewalk I was on when I rounded a corner, but they were walking away from me so none of them saw me. I looped around the back of the motel, found my window, managed to get it open, and wriggled through. My feet and legs were all scratched up from underbrush, I’d sc****d myself up pretty good getting through the narrow window, but I’d made it. I was safe. When I told Miru about my run back, she only said she wished I’d made a video.
During this period of time I was living in a pretty remote location (crashing with a coworker, to this day I’ve yet to find my own place) and didn’t own a vehicle, so in-person meetups were difficult to arrange, and Miru insisted I continue to provide a steady stream of pictures and videos for posting. I was also NEVER allowed to cum without her permission. I could stroke and edge all I wanted, but no cumming. She insisted on any video I make in which I cum there should be a big load. And she could potentially ask at any moment, so if I couldn’t produce, there would be punishments.
After the video booth incident, naturally, I was far more wary about where/how I would be meeting people. But Miru had something else up her sleeve. She arranged a meeting for me on a Saturday afternoon. I was going to be picked up, and at some point along the way I would be told to strip down and put on a blindfold. However, she also said that since I’d been doing well not cumming except when she ordered, that I was going to be rewarded and would actually get to fuck a pussy. That was all the information I was given.
My ride arrived right on time, and we barely spoke on the drive. Once we were in the middle of nowhere (again, remote area) he gave me a blindfold, a ball gag, and a collar and told me to strip and put them on. I did, and from that point had no idea where we were going. We got to our destination, and the driver came around and helped me, still nude and blindfolded, out of the truck. The truck was closed and locked with my clothes inside. Then my hands were bound behind my back, and a leash was attached to the collar. THEN the blindfold came off. We were by a tiny house in a very remote, farm-type area. There were some fenced-in pens, a barn. I could smell a****ls. I had NO idea where I was. There was another guy sitting out front waiting for us who started filming on his phone. I didn’t see a woman anywhere but assumed she was inside.
I was led, not inside, but around back and brought into a pen with several goats. I was trying not to step in any goat droppings with my bare feet when the driver brought out some lube and started stroking my cock with it, getting me hard and leading me by my thickening cock. Phone guy was still filming. There was no woman to be seen. He was bringing me closer to a goat in the corner of the pen.
That’s when it hit me. Miru had said I would get to fuck a pussy. She didn’t say a HUMAN pussy. I was about to be bred with the goat.
Sure enough, driver lifted the goat’s tail and applied some lube, then led my cock directly to the goat’s pussy, and before I could even think of how to protest with my mouth gagged and hands tied behind me, he had guided my cock into the goat. He told me to fuck her and breed her, to not stop til I’d cum.
This was easier said than done. I was in a half-crouching awkward position, fighting to keep balance with my hands tied behind me. I was also fairly horrified as a minute before I’d had no idea I would be fucking an a****l and now here I was with my hard dick inside one. The lube and the physical stimulation was keeping me hard, but working towards orgasm was a whole other task. Not to mention I was concerned about potentially hurting the goat.
After a few minutes of trial and error I found an angle that seemed to be okay, and the goat seemed fine, so I started thrusting. Phone guy was still filming, and driver was stroking his cock watching, telling me to fuck her good and to give her all my cum. It took what seemed like a LONG time; again, I was able to keep hard, but the a****l smell and seeing my own dick sliding in and out of the goat and the knowledge that it was being FILMED was all keeping me from reaching orgasm. We were also OUTSIDE in broad daylight, and I could see a road in the distance that cars were passing on, and wondered if they could see me doing this. On top of all that, the very real helplessness of my position was not lost on me. I was in the middle of nowhere, leashed, gagged, hands bound, with two obvious pervs who were getting off to me being forced to breed an a****l. For all I knew they planned to keep me there for good. They really wanted me to cum in the goat, but what was in store for me afterwards? Imprisonment there? Another “stranding”, dumping my nude ass in a much more public place? These were the thoughts going through my head while I fucked the goat, my dick hard despite my fear, trying to keep a rhythm that would get me to orgasm while also fearful of what would happen then. All I could do was focus and keep thrusting, in, out, in, out… long steady strokes in and out of that goat’s pussy.
Finally I managed to push myself over the edge and shot deep inside the goat, moaning and grunting so they would know I was cumming. They both laughed as I felt my dick spasm, pumping all my cum deep into the goat.
It turned out all my other worries were for nothing. After, I was led back to the truck, untied, and got dressed. I had to put the blindfold back on for the ride back, only being told to remove it when we were back in an area I knew. The whole ride back I could feel the drying wetness from the goat on my dick. The first thing I did when I got home was to take a LONG shower, scrubbing the hell out of myself.
A note about the video that was made. Miru claimed she never got it, and never heard from the farm dudes again. However, much later my wife revealed she knew about the goat incident, and I don’t think even she would believe I would do that unless she’d actually seen it. So, I am 99% sure Miru has the video and has shared it with at least my wife. None of the sites Miru had me create profiles for allow a****l videos, however. I have never seen it online. I don’t know if the farm guys ever posted it or if they have a private collection. All I DO know is that somewhere in the world, there is a video of me fucking a goat that at least a few people have been getting off to.
And, much to Miru’s eventual delight, that goat would turn out to be literally the last pussy I ever fucked, the last ANYTHING I ever fucked.
Mind you, this was all during the first few months after my wife and I split. Things with Miru would take another turn soon. Due to several circumstances, during that November I ended up moving from the more remote place I was staying back into town, so I was far more centrally located. I was still crashing with friends, but everything was now within walking distance. And my online profiles had been steadily growing.
At Miru’s direction, I began hosting “motel nights” once or twice a month. I would rent a motel room (always at my own expense, of course) and Miru would, via my online profiles, send me guys to service. Basically, I would get the room, strip down, and leave the door unlocked. I seldom knew who was coming, how many, or when, and didn’t know what they were planning to do to me. I also had to take photos and videos at the motel. I never did get any with other guys as most were camera shy, and Miru was VERY strict about respecting everyone else’s desire to not be photographed if they didn’t want. Now, as my wife had told Miru I didn’t like things in my butt, Miru made it a point to find guys who loved fucking ass. There was one night where I had 4 guys come by throughout the evening. And of course, once they’d come once, they were always ready to come for my next motel night. I was made to buy and wear lingerie for them, buy sex toys, all kinds of restraints. This was my life for several months. During the day, just working and living, but every few weeks becoming an open door cumdump for any perv that wanted to come by and use me. Miru’s goal of turning me into “the slut I used to pretend she was” was progressing nicely.
In January 2020, there was one particular incident that stood out. Miru had found a guy who was very into CBT (cock and ball torture) and liked inflicting pain. Didn’t realize that until I was already tied down and he cinched a thick ziptie INCREDIBLY tight around my balls. It was EXCRUCIATING. Then, he started power fucking my ass, using the ziptie around my balls as a grip. He yanked, pulled, twisted, and cinched it ever tighter. When he was done, he left without untying me. I had to work my hands free while my balls were in excruciating pain and turning purple. I finally managed to free myself, and get the ziptie off, which had been so tight it was cutting the skin. The next day my scrotum was swollen to nearly twice its normal size. In retrospect, I should have gone to the ER then, but didn’t want to explain what had happened. I was in incredible pain for days.
Between that motel night and my next one, the swelling went down, and things started feeling a bit more normal, although I was experiencing persistent aches from time to time. I also noticed that my ability to achieve and sustain an erection was profoundly reduced. I could barely get hard at all, and orgasm, while still feeling mostly like an orgasm, actually caused pain in my balls. Not severe, but a discomfort that would linger for a bit after I came.
Over the next few months I did a number more motel nights, photosets, videos, many showcasing my erectile difficulties. Miru delighted in all of it, often highlighting in posted videos my lack of erection, even when cumming. And cumming, of course, hurt. She liked seeing me in pain. At one point she wanted me to do a video where I worked a huge cucumber into my ass, and insisted she see my face, my ass, and the cucumber actually entering me in the video. While I was trying to position myself, and get myself lubed up enough to work the whole thing in, I slipped on the edge of the bed and sat down hard on the lubricated cucumber, resulting in the ENTIRE THING plunging up my ass in one fell swoop. That video ended up posted and is one of the more popular ones on my xhamster profile.
Shortly thereafter, of course, COVID came along and put an end to the motel nights. Now I was left to producing solo content at Miru’s demand. Photos, videos, anything she asked. As degrading, humiliating, and mentally painful as she could make it. And gleefully posted everything as my profiles view counts and followers increased. I’d reached the point at which I was just conditioned to obey her.
I’d moved yet again, and finally been told my wife had another man living with her, so in addition to the already emasculating issues I was having, Miru heaped as much cuckold shame onto me as she could. She had me do a video in which I stare into the camera, nude, face and dick showing, and masturbate to orgasm, all while thinking only of my wife and her new boyfriend having sex. That video is ALSO on my xhamster (“meatpuppet knows his place”) but unless you know the backstory it just looks like another jerkoff video.
By June, the discomfort in my balls had worsened to the point that I finally saw a doctor who examined me and said that my testes had clearly sustained severe damage, and then healed wrong, which is what was causing my problems; they were borderline necrotic and slowly dying. I could have been helped with surgery when it first happened, but as it’d let it go for months, it was too late. There was no saving them, I needed to have them both removed. That June (still 2020) they were removed, and I was given implants so it at least LOOKED like I had balls. The night before the surgery, I did a video of the last time I will ever cum. Hundreds of people have seen it since it was posted
If I’d been having erection issues prior to this, removing my balls altogether basically eradicated ANY functionality at all. I have not had an erection in any way, shape, or form since June 2020. No morning wood, nothing. My urge to have sex is nonexistant. However, my psychological need to be used and humiliated was conditioned powerfully into me by Miru’s nonstop barrage of sexual tasks. Any drive I ever had to post or share photos of anyone is absolutely gone. All the perverse things I used to do, all drive to do any of it is erased. As Miru put it when she discovered my surgery was basically castration (to her absolute delight) I’ve been “fixed” and won’t be a danger to anyone sexually ever again, as my “weapon” has been “disarmed”.
I still have attraction to sexiness in people, I just can’t do anything about it, nor do I feel any particular impulse to do anything sexual about it. I’ve just been conditioned to obey Miru.
I have, however, developed massive boner and cumshot envy, I don’t watch any of the porn I used to, seeing a hard dick fucking a vagina is light years away from anything I can fantasize about doing, and in fact only serves to remind me of the much better sex life my wife has been enjoying without me. The only porn I watch anymore is pretty much just solo guys or trans women jerking off and cumming. I ACHE to feel that again, but since my surgery the closest I get to cumming is just a little dribble of semen out of a limp dick, with little to no sensation. And without testosterone in my body (tried a supplement but it made me sick) I have been growing boobs, and my facial hair is getting softer. Miru and my wife said I deserved to lose my balls, and that is exactly what they achieved. Mostly Miru, but it wouldn’t have been possible without all the blackmail info she got from my wife at the start.
I mentioned I could “almost” cum, with my pathetic dribble of semen, but even that takes considerable effort. I can’t just grab my dick and stroke, even with lube, that gets me nowhere, and I’ll end up just pulling on my limp dick for hours until it’s sore and I’m frustrated. The only thing that gives me some sensation is cutting off my air supply to make myself lightheaded. The harder I restrict it, the more sensation I get at the moment of “orgasm”, but even the most I’ve gotten so far is a far cry from what an actual orgasm feels like, it’s more like a mild tingling, with none of the sense of release or relief. Sadly, this will probably be how I go out, which is a fittingly humiliating end to me, autoerotic asphyxiation. The final capstone on the legacy I’ve built myself. Dying alone, trying desperately to cum, failing, and finally taking it too far, to be found in an exposed, humiliating, helpless position.
I’ve also noticed that when I push in a particular way when I poop, I also get a little sensation in my dick, and the head of it grows just slightly, and it gets slightly longer (though that’s likely just from forcing a little more blood into it from pushing). Also if I’m REALLY backed up (like, haven’t pooped in a week or more), I can sometimes get a little more sensation. I have tried to work this into anything like a real erection, but found that impossible. I’ve come to accept I’ll never have an erection again, I’ll never cum again. I am literally emasculated and my genitals are just for show, functionally useless. And in retrospect, looking at how I behaved when I was capable, I probably do deserve that. I may be the property of Miru, but in many ways I’ve been freed. She’s right, I’ve been “fixed”.
Being sexually useless, and in a pandemic, there wasn’t much more I could do, but Miru of course found a new direction for me. As I do get a bit of sensation when I need to poop badly, Miru has focused my entire remaining sex drive into s**tplay. I can’t produce sperm or ejaculate, but I can produce shit. I used to love cumming, getting cum all over me, and thanks to Miru I’ve replaced that with shit. I was hesitant at first, but she kept pushing for more extreme videos, and I have since become well-trained. I have dozens of s**tplay videos posted online now, which have been viewed tens of thousands of times. That’s where I am now, and where Miru plans to leave me (so she says) a castrated impotent cuckold who smears himself with his own shit for internet deviants to jerk off to. And all the sites she’s posted the videos to have my actual name, contact info, etc. She’s shared this stuff with my friends and family. Everyone I know has seen this, or at least heard about it through gossip. She’s also tasked me to write up this essay, so it’s available for anyone to read, so anyone who sees the things I do and wonders “why” understands not only why I do it, but what I have done to earn it, and how I have not been subjected to a single thing that I didn’t wholly deserve.
Miru and my wife turned me from a person who sexually exploits others into a castrated, emasculated, cuckolded loser whose last ever sex was with a goat, and now I spend the majority of my time struggling to hold in shit so when I make videos for the whole world to watch, I will be able to produce huge amounts to smear all over myself and eat. And once COVID is cleared up, my ass and mouth will be offered up to the world, for anyone to use however they want. And I’ll never be able to say no. With my extreme penis envy, which gives me a MASSIVE desire to handle and interact with hard and cumming dicks, I’ll do anything now for hard dicks. Suck them. Let them fuck me. Be their cum dumpster. Their gangbang slut. Their toilet. They can use and degrade me however they want. I’ll refuse nothing. Miru made sure of that. Constantly craving because I can’t get off, never satisfied because my genitals are destroyed, I have become the slut I always used to make her out to be. I have become a meatpuppet.
And I deserved it all.
4 年 前
